It’s really easy and oh so very tempting to compare yourself to other fempreneurs all.the.freakin.time isn’t it? Their website looks so beautiful and professional, they have their products and services all figured out and their visual branding looks like a million bucks!


Where to Even Start

You, on the other hand don’t know where to begin and just posting on social media once a week feels like you’ve climbed a mountain! Let alone that everyone is telling you that consistency is the key to success – which is a big part of it – and you need to be posting all the places every day, no less! Let alone that this one post a week is really congruent with your brand identity (say what?) and conveys what your brand values are. You’re now more worried about what your brand values actually are and where you can find some of those. Then there is that little thing that everyone keeps banging on about that you need to communicate with your ideal client and if you don’t have an ICA (Ideal Client Avatar) then you’d better get one today!

Jumping on the Video Train

You think of that fempreneur you’ve been following who has thousands of followers of her own. Then you say to yourself “I’m never ever gonna get there, so I might as well just stop trying before I start!” Or the other one who is making the most epic videos in which she not only sounds like a genius and looks like she is completely at ease, but she’s looking mighty fine as well. You on the other hand wouldn’t be caught dead on camera! First you need to get a haircut or lose 10 pounds or get better equipment or … She’s a constant reminder that you really should get your act together and jump on the video train not to be left behind. And then we’re not even talking about doing webinars, Facebook, YouTube or Instagram lives.

In the meantime you keep watching what other fempreneurs are doing and you get more and more discouraged!

Don’t Shoot the Messenger

How often did you start working on your business, maybe after a stellar session with a biz bestie or your private marketing consultant, and you’re making real progress and then you make 1 mistake? The mistake of taking a break (which in itself is a good thing, don’t get me wrong!) and then … it happens, you read that ezine of the fab fempreneur, or watched someone’s epic Facebook Live. You’re torn between genuine admiration and good old green-eyed jealousy!

STOP! Go back babe!

Because this is the exact point at which you will go off the rails. You want me to tell you why? Because there will ALWAYS be someone who will know more than you, have a bigger audience than you, be better at a specific thing than you or make more money than you. It is a race that you will never win. There I said it. Don’t shoot the messenger.


Stop Thinking that the Grass is Always Greener

The saying: “the grass is always greener on the other side” is probably familiar to you right? In my own experience, and those of my hundreds of fempreneur clients, “Comparitis” (pretty sure that’s not a word but hey you get what I mean right?) brings so much stress and stagnation in your business! And then I’m not even talking about the blow it brings to your self-esteem. So many fempreneurs I work with experience a nagging feeling of “I’m not good enough” or just an overall feeling of “I can’t do this” or “I’ll never be as good or successful as her”.

The not-so-funny thing is that these feelings are not productive and they are confirmed in these times of online marketing where most people just show the end result of all of their hard work! It is so easy to be blinded by the “greenness” of the grass on the other side. But I’m asking you not to indulge the green monster. Because it serves no purpose other than to lead you away from the potential that you have and that is waiting to be introduced into the world!

OK! So I’m hoping that we’re in agreement that you need to stop stalking people who are undermining your progress and, even worse, your sense of self worth. But how do you do that? I’ve listed my top 6 strategies to give up this unhealthy addiction once and for all! Ready? Ok, here goes.


Biz Success Strategy #1: Enjoy the Journey

Start by realising that entrepreneurship is a journey and that we are all at different locations on that journey. Everyone starts somewhere and some might even be almost at their final destination. So don’t compare your chapter 1 with someone else’s chapter 20. I can’t tell you how much peace of mind this realisation gave me! And as a result, I became creative and productive like there was no tomorrow! Go figure.

Biz Success Strategy #2: Focus on your Unique Qualities

A lot of fempreneurs are under the false impression that they need to follow what is “in” right now or what everyone else seems to be doing to find success. Don’t do this. Remember that there is only one YOU and that is basically all the USP (Unique Selling Proposition) that you have. But, if you use it and follow your path in your very own zone of genius then trust me, it will be enough. So make sure to incorporate more YOU in your marketing.

Biz Success Strategy #3: Celebrate Success

Celebrate the big wins, but whatever you do, don’t glance over the small wins! I always celebrate every success. Mine, my clients’ or that of someone in our The Fempreneur Collective Facebook Community or my online network. It is so important to stop and really feel that win!

So often us entrepreneurs are brushing those accomplishments off and we’re on to the next stop on our never-ending to-do list. And don’t just acknowledge it – have some fun! Create a ritual. Spoil yourself whenever you’ve had a win! All of these good times will build your resilience for when times are not as good and you’ve maybe had a launch that fell flat on its face! If you never praise yourself then those times will hit you so much harder.

Celebrating your success will give you the endurance to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and march right on over to the next chapter in your entrepreneurial journey!


Biz Success Strategy #4: Improve Yourself All. The. Time.

Instead of just looking at someone else with envy, reflect on what it is exactly that you are envious of? Is it a skill that you can develop with some time and training? Will this serve your and or your business? Then go on and make a plan to learn it so you can be proud of yourself instead! Maybe it is something that you need to educate yourself on, like mindset or personal development. Then go and buy that book, read it and implement what you’ve learned. But the most important thing is that you take action!

One of my very favorite mantras is ‘Action cures fear’ and boy, have I learned that this true in the more than 10 years of being an entrepreneur. Sometimes you just have to jump off a cliff and figure out how in the world you’re going to land in 1 piece on the way down. My personal tactic for getting over a hurdle that is based in fear of the unknown is playing that “what if” game with myself.

So what if this launch fails. Will I live? Yes.
Will my business survive? Yes.
Will my ego be bruised? Probably.

By asking yourself a whole set of “what if” questions, you are tapping into the logical side of your brain and that alone will make the fear seem a bit less and the task more doable. Try it next time and let me know how it went!

Biz Success Strategy #5: Reflect but don’t Dwell

Create an environment for yourself in which you have “me time” to reflect on what you’re doing that is causing these doubts about yourself or your work. Is it legit? Then fix it in any way you can. Either by yourself or by having someone else help you with this. Or is it a case of self sabotage? Then do the “what if” game and force yourself to think about this in a logical way to see if and how you can come up with a solution. The best way to handle this is to be quite clinical in your evaluation. Don’t judge yourself but give yourself some grace. Try to eliminate as much emotion from the equation as you can.

Instead of dwelling on what you haven’t mastered yet, or on the success of that person who is miles ahead, make sure to set intentions for the week. What will you do, dare or learn this week that will grow you as person or will facilitate growth in your business. Write it down, stick to it and celebrate your wins at the end of the week!

Biz Success Strategy #6: Put Blinders On

Start running your own race and, for the love of all things holy, stop watching what the rest of the world is doing. A few of the favorite things I like to discuss and perfect with my clients is focus, making plans and setting goals. And whenever there’s a “Big Shiny Object” or “Purple Squirrel” that catches their eye, I tell them “just keep your eyes on your road and keep on driving”. Because remember, what happens when you stop and look around? Yes, that’s the time you start watching everyone else again and you go off the rails! So keep your foot on the gas!

To summarize: keep learning, continue to work on yourself, your mindset and break away from everything that doesn’t serve you.

And yes, this includes people. Whether that is a competitor that you secretly envy, that biz friend who continues to let you down, the hundreds of ezines that are just a distraction (#unsubscribe), or that to-do on your list that you keep procrastinating on. Review it and either embrace it fully or chuck it. Because remember, one of the most precious benefits of being an entrepreneur is that YOU make the decisions and nobody else!

I hope these tactics will give you the tools to deal with all the distractions and to finally focus on yourself and what you’re great at!

If you have questions, or you just want to continue the conversation, then either leave a comment here or head on over to The Fempreneur Collective Facebook Community and tag me there!

To your success!

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Jakolien Sok is the founder of Boosting Your Brand & The Fempreneur Collective. She is a 10+ years Marketing Mentor & Digital Strategist. Jakolien teaches female entrepreneurs with digital based businesses how to build a unique brand and leverage online marketing to generate more leads, more sales and more growth in their business!

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